2014
has seen me on a continued journey of challenges, but in very different
circumstances. Some of those challenges
have been repeated ones, requiring new thinking and responses to generate
positive change; others have been new challenges, embraced to build courage,
strength and confidence to deal with the former.
I would
say one of my biggest ‘overcomers’ has been to conquer the overwhelming fear of
drowning in deep water, something that I have carried with me since an early
age.
Although
having the ability to swim in a ‘controlled’ environment, for me Centre Parcs
pool rapids was very much ‘living on the edge’ and tentatively achieved. To be in open water conditions was not a
concept I had considered greatly. A one
off canoe trip seven years ago with the kids had been fulfilled with much
hesitation and anxiousness … shore being kept well within reach, and no hurry
to repeat the occasion!
The
summer of 2013 had witnessed me refusing point blank to venture out on, what
appeared to me to be, the dark waters of Llyn Gwynant, Snowdonia; a moment of
general announcement that water and I were not well acquainted and this was
likely to be the case for some time. As
for gorge walking, well that had even less of a chance of appearing on the ‘list
of things I must achieve before I reach the age of 90’!!
So what
happened?
A visit
to the Lake District, by a friend from school days, in April of this year saw
us offering a day of activity to her and her family … to be included in this, a
time of canoeing!
As we
made the journey to Ullswater, my mind was set that I would be remaining on dry
land. This thinking, however, had not
taken into account my friends statement of, ‘I’ll go in with you Marion’!! This
was a day for them to experience and enjoy, so how could I spoil that by not
actively taking part? Realised or not, the challenge was set; another one of
those dig deep, bite the bullet and take the plunge moments … thankfully not
quite literally!
Buoyancy
aids well and truly in place, we tentatively pushed off the banks of Ullswater
and ‘tickled’ the waters lying close to the shore. Returning to firmer footings
I found that there had been a sense of enjoyment from the sound of the quiet
trickling under the vessel, and the gentle relaxing motion as we had ‘glided’
through the water.
The
rest, as they say, is history. Many
outings since April have seen me paddle the waters of Derwent Water, Ullswater,
Ellerton and Lake Bala; each one drawing me further away from the water’s edge
into the ‘challenging deep’, progressing to the moving waters of the River
Tyne. Many of these journeys have been
shared with Mr Tabb, who has guided, directed and instructed en route … a
presence that has brought much safety and security. Solo trips that have taken place have been on
gentle waters and without hazard; that was until 2* training day ……
I had
graced the waters of the River Tyne as co-paddler to Mal back in June. My recollection
was that the rocks had overwhelmed the water and paddling near to shore was
futile. For the canoe to come to life that day a big push was needed from the
banks enabling the paddle to weave its way through the flow and be used to
steer and control. Not so, however, as
the Tyne became our destination for training three weekends ago. Where dry land had been our friend a few
months before this was now submerged in water and the river flow seemingly much
faster; not much of a push needed on this occasion to reach the water that
would allow the paddle to do its work … and this time no ‘riding tandem’!
Already
facing personal emotional challenges in day to day life, I was struggling to
engage with the morning’s instructions and the difficulties they were
presenting, a brief break for lunch was most welcome! It was on the return to the water for the
afternoon session that, for a moment, time seemed to ‘stand still’ and that
fear of deep water once again wanted to rear its head. As I lost control and
found myself sitting in the canoe, facing up stream, all I could do was
frantically paddle against the rivers flow for dear life! All the strokes that I had learned in my
level one, and just minutes before was being taught how to apply in moving
water situations, got lost in the moment of panic. Glancing behind, my mind was
racing as to where I might end up! I needed to compose myself, refocus and
trust in the help that was to hand to assist me to more controlled waters; and
with buoyancy aid in place what was there to be afraid of!
‘Rescue’
successfully complete I was left pondering once again on the parallels of my
outdoor experience with life itself.
The
challenges we face can often come out of the blue causing us to feel
unprepared, inadequate and unequipped, subsequently undermining our strength
and confidence. We can become so
overwhelmed by the circumstances that we can easily forget the most simplest of
‘common sense’ attitudes and actions to help us through.
Even
for those on a Christian journey it can be easy to get caught in the ‘flow’ or
‘storm’ of a situation and momentarily find ourselves floundering almost
without hope, forgetting the promises that Jesus has shared with us. A false
panic setting in blinding us to the truth that we are not on our own in this
‘journey’, that Jesus is with us; bringing others around us that He can use to
assist us to ‘calmer waters’ with spoken or written words of encouragement,
instruction and direction; and like the buoyancy aid, bring directly Himself a
peace that all will be well, even in difficult times.
As the words
of one of our wedding songs puts it:
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
